Matthew ([info]xlacedwithhatex) wrote,
@ 2009-09-22 06:27:00
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Current mood:numb

I've been looking in the mirror a lot lately.
I see a liar.
I see a cheater.
I see ignorance.
I see greed.
I see a fake.
I see sadness.
I see failure.
I see a bad person.

I've fallen behind, blown opportunities, wasted time on worthless people, disappointed my family, friends, and myself. I'm not proud of anything I have done and/or continue to do. No one talks to me anymore. I haven't seen any of my "friends" since May and I haven't left my room in over a month. Not even to help my parents with groceries. I am that pathetic. My band gave up on me. My friends gave up on me. I haven't played music in months. I've given up on it. I sleep 15 hours a day and when I'm awake I sit mindlessly in front of this computer wasting time doing absolutely nothing. I don't work out, I dont take care of myself, and I dont care who I use and hurt. I don't pay my bills. I don't even have a job to pay them but I lie to people if they ask me. I have a warrant out for my arrest and my license is going to be suspended if I don't pay parking tickets in the next upcoming days. My parents think I have money to put myself through school. I told them I did. Another lie. I quit my job by telling them I was offered a better job. Uh, lies.




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[info]_geocentric
2009-09-23 01:32 am UTC (link)
Hey man I was just thinking about you and all of us when rufus was alive. Those were the greatest days man. We need to catch up and jam real soon dude. Cheer up matty, shit always evens itself out. Keep your chin up bro.

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[info]ohoh__radio
2009-09-29 01:53 am UTC (link)
feel better. things will work out, bro.

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